19 weeks 1 day!

19 weeks...and this is where I am at. The weight has been fluctuating back and forth. Losing and gaining. Some days are better than others. Last week was MUCH better than week 17. Ugh how terrible. I just couldn't shake that headache! This week I feel alive, and well. Lots of Kickin and punching going on!! It's insane. I'de say it got strong last week for sure.

Today I ordered the baby's crib thanks to Sharon and Nani :) I LOVE it and hope its as great as it looks in the pictures. Overall this week has started off good. I am SO excited I swear like a little schoolgirl about surprising Andrew on Sat. I cant contain my smiles throughout the day. Words can't describe how much I miss him. I forgot what he sounds like!! I cannot wait to jump in his arms and tell him how much I've missed him. Ooo. the baby is kicking my bladder. he/she needs to stop that!! Anyways..last week went with Linds to get her new fabulous solara convertible I got jealous a little but I still love my truck. It's wonderful for what I need it for.

Well, theres tons to look forward to...I will be sure to update next week and say how amazing my surprise went!

18 Weeks and not really growing...

Happy Mother's Day!!--and 18 weeks. Let's see to me, I look exactly the same as 16 weeks. It doesnt help that I was wearing black shorts and a white bra in the picture and this week black shorts and a white shirt! Almost no change in the belly..Last week was a struggle, Went to doctor for on going headaches. They are still here...just gotta eat, drink and take some meds and press on. Kid is sucking the life out of me!

Not too much to say right now, mabe later on in the week. Andrew is coming home in 13 days. I cannot wait...

17 weeks....

So what is the best way to describe the way I rang in 17 weeks...??...Well needless to say I got virtually no sleep last night due to my constant stomach pains ( thanks to gas bubbles brewing in my diaphragm.) I tossed and turn all night after finally going to sleep after 11 I dreamt on and off about all the things currently stressing me in my life. The woman I have been in contact with has apparently fallen off the face of the earth and no longer answers her phone so she had me all upset this weekend. I woke up this am feeling totally crappy, ended up nearly passing out in formation and had to go home quickly to not feeling well. I got ready, ate something and felt better that the day would bring answers. I called the lady bright and early. sure enough NO ANSWER. So I call the main desk and the girl tells me that Ms Thomas is in today....I leave a message for her, and I hear NOTHING BACK. So I go to Chief and find out that he is on board to helping me leave early, gotta start paper work yadda yadda. But Cant do jack until the Army assigns Andrew somewhere. SO FINALLY he tells me to call Andrew's TAC. So I call him and telll him that my first sgt wants his first sgts number if we dont get answers by today. So he goes on a mission to find out what the deal is. Needless to say, he still is not reassigned but they are "pushing" for 3rd group. Whatever. I dont care where they are pushing just tell me where he is going!!! He said COB tomorrow. ...So guess what. Im calling his butt COB tomorrow if he doesnt call me. I got the papers ready to go...just waiting on finishing ONE SENTENCE " would like to accompany my husband as he PCS's to......._____________" yeah....so anyways. Had a headache all day, the stress is only going to get worse thru the week..got tons of running around to do tomorrow. Everyone says dont stress but I'm like....uh?...ok. then you take my life and I'll take yours and lets see how you do. Anyways thats all for now. 19 more days till Andrew comes home. I miss him. and Im falling asleep. maybe I'll actually sleep tonight. Im out..

16 weeks 2 Days

So here I am! Been awhile since I last wrote--So much to update....not enough time to do it. So..where are we at. Andrew got orders to Ft. Campbell, Basically sent our worlds crashing down for 2 days till we came to our senses made a decision that was not only for us but for our unborn child and on April 16th we got married :) You know it's funny, because its almost embarassing to tell people that I am re-married but at the same time I dont care because I want to tell them SOOO much just HOW IN LOVE I am with this man. I feel something with Andrew that I have never felt with anyone else in my entire life. He is gone away for a month right now for his final stage of training. Once "Robin Sage" is over so Is his training for SF as long as he passed...I am so proud of him and look up to him when it comes to this stuff. He may be going through hell right now, but being the one left behind isn't that peachy either! I am a wreck! I have never felt so lost until he left. I did bad when he was gone for a week! How am I going to last for a month??? There is so much going on that it keeps my mind occupied for about 30 sec then I think of him again...

Anyways, I will manage. I am waiting to hear on his assignment this week. hopefully it got changed to either colorado or staying at NC. From there I will start to work my move. I went to doctor today and all is well, scheduled the BIG ultrasound for 6 weeks from now, hoping that Andrew will be able to make it! June 8th. If not, I will have to keep pushing the date back. I hope its sooner than later!! I will be 22 weeks!! Holy smokes. Time is kinda flying ....well other then that ...Im lonely...I miss him...and love the guy to pieces. He keeps me sane that is for sure without I feel pretty darn useless, I am not gonna lie. Even just being able to talk to him on the phone keeps me together. Well that is the end of my sob story..more to come next week.

13 weeks

So what has week 13 brought me. ?? Well last week was VERY rough emotionally. I cried just about every night because I missed Andrew so bad. Just one big cry-baby!!

The mornings usually go well until I get hungry like usual. This morning started off rougher than usual. I did not wake up to my alarm because my phone was on vibrate so I was late for PT. Not a really big deal.--Went to PT, and since I was in a hurry didnt eat much. By the time I got back from PT I was so hungry that I began dry heaving. Well, only difference is this time I ended up throwing up all the water I had drank. On the kitchen floor. Egh....Not that great--I felt sick most of the morning and was falling asleep at my Stats class. I just can't wait till I feel AMAZING like I keep hearing about. Lets see what else, got a Pre-natal massage that felt awesome when it was happening but now my lower back is way worse off then it started.

Theres not much else to say other then the huge storm that came through last week flooded lots of peoples homes, I was worried a few times but all is well here. I noticed that last couple of days the water has slowly started to smell worse and worse. I finally called today and asked what had happened to the water. Come to find out the guy who puts Chlorine in the wells, his house flooded and he hadn't had a chance to put Chlorine in the water. So this makes me mad because, I pay a flat rate for these people to take care of the water and you cant just have someone else throw some chlorine in there? Give me the stuff! I'll do it! Geez. The water is like..the worst smell you can think of. Now, times that by a thousand for me.....I almost threw up in the shower this morning because I couldnt take the smell anymore. I havent smelt it since I got home but I hope its gotten better.

Well thats it for now--maybe this week will bring more fun things to write about.

12 weeks....

Ok so ...Today I want to start from the beginning because let me just say--Today has been quite humerous. Now mind you, I had a crappy weekend. Anything that can break, broke..anything that could possibly go wrong did...it just was never-ending. I no longer have the beautiful engagment ring. Andrew took it back. Long story short the place we got it was just bogus. He got his money back..and we are getting the ring here from the jeweler who pointed out to me that it was made wrong. Moving on.....So middle of the night last night I do my ritual of gettin up 2-3 times to pee...I noticed that my head hurts. like BAD. I wake up..and its still bad...I proceed to take the headache pills the doc prescribed and I head out to PT. Mind you, Andrew left me today...I did good and didnt get emotional he will be back Friday and I can talk to him then. But I am finding now that I miss him more then I thought I would. I digress....So I get to PT and realize that I almost feel high...Im like. um WTF? my face is tingling. So We start to form up for our formation and I jsut feel light headed and pukey...next thing I know Im bolting to the building and proceed to dry heave and spend the rest of reville on the floor of my building until I got enough strength to stand up. So I go home, and saw screw PT. I shower, eat and proceed to my appt. Let me just say:: My Mid-wife...AMAZING I love her. And funny thing, I was so emotional today that I liked her so much I wanted to cry and hug her...She answers all my dumb questions. Finds the heartbeat...tells me sounds great...we talk some more...and then I tell her about my morning from hell. She looks in my file...OH wow. seems that Dr. dumb dumb prescribed me CODINE???!!! Yeah no wonder you felt high? You were drugged...so she gave me better meds. not so druggy. and by 5 this evening it was finally gone! After a long day of feeling disgusting...and a terrible headache I feel human again. I divulged in some amazing Ramen Noodles...my new craving...But I just want to say one thing....12 weeks...second trimester. Everyone told me how amazing how I would feel. Um...I FEEL LIKE CRAPPPPP??!! My face is oily, Im EMOTIONAL ....like you have no idea. I cried because the dog groomer didnt show up and never called me. I cried to "chasing that neon rainbow" by Brooks and Dunn....yeah the list goes on. And I want to cry right now because I miss Andrew....Ugh. Im a mess.

Took my stats tests today. And I am sure I bombed that. When we went in we were all expecting to use our notes. and um...NOPE no notes. how bout tears came to my eyes and I wanted to get up and walk out. Talk about a wuss right? Hope I dont fail. I might threaten the teachers life..haha..

now I realize what my poor andrew has to deal with...well thats it for now. Enjoy the ever growing bump. Whether it looks like that or not. It's only after a full pizza pie that my gut looks like that....

Mucho Updates

So First off: This past weekend Andrew took me on a "surprise" trip to Florida. We arrived to Ponte Vedra Beach and pulled up to the Lodge & Club. This place...was just amazing...Fancy as it can get...Our room had 2 balconies overlooking the beach. We laid and watched the waves while they sun went down. Our bathroom had a jacuzzi that I couldnt enjoy because I cannot allow my body to heat up too much so I was careful. Andrew then told me around 9 at night that he had a surprised...we had the fireplace on and he had me sit in front of it. And....long story short He proposed to me. Wow, it was just amazing...I cried my eyes out. The ring...as you can see is the most gorgeous ring ever. It is a ring that I imagine superstars having. It's a Verragio band and he made the ring!

Anyways...it was just a lovely weekend and I couldnt have asked for anything better!!! I am SO IN LOVEEEEE..:)

Well 10 weeks came and went...nothing to report other than me getting fat. I am 11 weeks now and dont really feel pregnant. Hungry all the time and sleepy but thats it! no complaints just that I wish I was still with Andrew ....that is all for now. My next appt is Next week so I am sure I will have much to write then.

9 weeks 2 days

"Theres almost nothing you could tell me to ease my mind....."

Great song lyric from my ultimate Fav jack johnson. That is how I feel right now. Past couple of days have been rather disheartening. Nothing in general other then the fact that I am proud of what I have accomplished....and then at the same time I am disappointed in my decision thus far in life. Divorced and Pregnant all before 23. I don't know...seems like I am so concerned with what everyone else thinks at times. I'm wondering when I will fully feel comfortable with everything that has happened in my life. But, i don't think I will feel like that until I have FULL support from the one I love. When he wavers with how he feels...i do the same. I am just at a loss right now. There is times when I can't even describe the loneliness I feel. I know there is SO many people that would be here in a second but its different...I don't want anyone here. I would rather wallow in my own depression. If someone asked me right now WHAT DO I WANT ....where do I want to go....what do I want to do....I don't even think I could answer it. Even if my wish would be granted. I don't think I saw the reality of my situation until this weekend and now it's hitting me...and it's hitting me hard.

I have noticed lately Andrew acting werid about things especially our vacation. One day we are planning it for beginning of june and now he said that last weeks of June. and then he says that he doesn't really want to do it. Well what is it? I'm at the point where I dont care anymore. There's this amazing song by David Gray--He sings " This years love" ...its one of those heart wrenching songs that really just make you think. and its' got me thinking and right about now I just don't want to be alone anymore. Anyways...how am I feeling. Dry heaves come and go with certain smells. Today I felt good...had a little headache come and go on it's own in the afternoon. I am very tired as usual...nothing new really on all that. It's all more mental for right now. Ugh..Something needs to give at some point....something needs to go MY WAY for once in my life. Please....
I know somewhere along the way I have done something to earn it. come on...just this once.

8wks 2days!! First Ultrasound

So first of all:: The due dates and how far along may be a little wacky right now and I blame that on my weirdo doctor. Today he said I am 8wks and 2days. Due October 12th. and I said ok....got it. whateverrrrrr

So where do I want to start. So last night...crazy dreams all night long. Last night I headed to bed about as sick as they come. Headaches that wont give up...just feeling overall SHITTY. I dream about being in Iraq driving through water up to the top of vehicles and what not. A few dreams about babies here and there and then finally my alarm goes off and I couldnt be any happier :) Happy Birthday NANI! and......my appointment is this morning...yippie. So I actually lay in bed and talk to Andrew for a few then get up and go to PT. Windchill this morning made it feel about 20 so PT was at the gym today i was thankful for this so I could dip out early. I ran home, got ready and went to pick up Lindsay. Of course Lindsay like her usual self was documenting each step play by play...and inside my stomach was just turning...So we show up I get called in and I have the most senial weird old lady who actually gets the nerve to ask me "are you even pregnant"...UM...yes bitch. why the fuck do you think I am here!!! no. I did not say this but I wanted to. Then she made a comment about how we did not see the heartbeat at 4 weeks. And my heart stopped...Um ok so I dont even work here and I know that you wont see the baby at 4 weeks. Next nurse PLEASE! so she weighs me...I have gained no weight. yay for this...go into the room ...take the draws off and linds begins the photo op again. Yay linds take a pic of me with a piece of paper covering the goods! Doctor comes in and of course...does not remember me...congrats! yay thanks doc but you and I met like 4 weeks ago...yup remember me? I bet the job becomes so montanous..( spelling?) that if you have seen one vagina you have seen them all right?...poor guy.

Anyways he tells me to lay back, spread em...and I mean..he doesnt play. takes the cold ass probe and boom...before I know it Im looking at this little bean on the screen..." now theres the head...theres the umbillcal cord....." I'm getting the little tour around my uterus but Im not paying any attention all I see is this HUGE bean that I was expecting to be a little speck. Yay this thing is way bigger then I ever imagined. So finally I clue back in on what is happening and hear him mention the heartbeat...so he zooms in on it...and for like 5 seconds I caught myself mouth breathing and in a full on smile. I guess its one of those re-defying moments where you are like...Wow. I made that? He said heartbeat was good..and that was good enough for me. He said that everything looked great...moved it around a bit more for my own viewing pleasure and printed out 7 pics and called it good. Took some blood, made me want to pass out and next thing I know...the past 4 weeks that I have waited rushed away were over...and now..I wait for another 4 hahahaha!

In the photo the head is on the left...the cord you can kinda see is on the right going up. I think its the cutest bean I have ever seen! haha. so that was my day. I am really gassy in case you were wondering. umm cramping here and there. and my next appt is March 30th. We will hear the heartbeat everytime but will not do an ultrasound. he said around 18 weeks he will start the screening for the anatomy and to find out the sex of the baby :)))))))) even though I know its gonna be a little girl. I can feel it.

alright that is all folks. enjoy.

7 Wks 3 Days....

So...where to start for today:: Well the last two days following the AMAZING day that I had have been fun filled with a headache that has troubled me since yesterday afternoon. I have worked out well in the morning but have been bummed to not be able to walk baylee in the evenings because all I want to do is rest my head. Last night was filled with more strange dreams...Flying more aircraft, jumping out of planes with Brits, etc...etc...Not so vivid and none that scared me so thats a plus right? So I decided the hair needed a mommy look to it so I went and got a bit chopped off and my natural color brought back ( all of which was done naturally Nani so stop freaking out) the baby was not harmed in the process nor was animals or small children!! I think it's cute.

Work was alright spent most of the day outside....makes my day go by quicker. I try not to sit and think about Monday...sometimes its very hard for me to believe that theres a kid in me. I really dont see a change in my stomach. Sometimes I do sometimes I dont. My boobs are still killing me and the headaches are a sure sign something is up. This evening the weirdest feeling came over me like my stomach was doing somersaults. My lower back started aching...then I felt like I needed to use the bathroom...but then I thought I needed to Puke....then I just couldnt move at all because to be honest, I thought I was miscarrying or something. I have read about it and they describe it as cramping and painful. This wasnt so much either...it was just WEIRD! it went away after a few moments but had me running to the bathroom to check for blood. It's funny does anyone really look at the TP after they wipe....well...pregnant women do..haha It's like a habit now and if I forget to do it Im like OH NO!!! I forgot to look! shit was there any blood????.....and I almost want to dive in after the piece of TP. ok so I am not that bad but I am watchful over everything that is going on with my body right now. The headaches are the thing blowing me away right now. I never thought it could be like this....I read it is rather normal. Guess I should be greatful they arent migraines! ANYWAYs...thats all she wrote for today. Not too much to say other then Andrew is still working long hours and I dont get to talk to him at night :( it makes me sad but...I am so tired at night i rack out regardless. Oh one more thing. I took my first mid-day nap today. Yup racked out in my chair when everyone went to lunch. I guess this is where it all starts? Told the guys to pull a cot out of the conexes for me...I will be taking naps at lunch from here on out!!!

Laters.

7 Wks 1 Day

Ok so where to start about today--actually lets back track to the weekend. Drove to Florida to the camper and spent the day with Karen and Bruce. Felt fine all day, easily exhausted though took two naps in the time frame of being with them. Sunday I did NOTHING at all but go to Wal Mart. Monday which is TODAY--Went to PT this morning feeling the usual semi naseous and not wanting to move. Did some half ass PT and was disappointed, I dont like walking away from a workout feeling like I have done nothing. So the rest of the day was spent actually jobbing it moving stuff around the office spent some time outside helping the guys out. I was a little bummed that I put myself in contact with gas fumes, mold extreme mold for that matter and ended up getting a headache. But nothing that a gool ol' lunch with the boys can't help! We went to Taco Bell...yes I said it. T-Bell. I needed it. So I got some food and drank half a cup of mountain dew because I heard from the doctor that is actually good for migranies since I didnt have tylenol on hand. And guess what? it went away. it was suttle for the rest of the day and made my day bareable. At some point during the day my boss tells me that his wife is pregnant and will be starting CROSSFIT MOM workouts. Which really makes me happy because I cant participate in the workouts now because they are too intense for me. This is great news and I am happy about not getting fat now. I go home totally motivated and walk in the house and realize its gonna be hours before Andrew gets off of work ( it's almost 9 and he is still there) so I say...go for a run. Now for the past few weeks the thought of a run makes me want to puke. But today I felt great. went for a nice slow jog even sped up a bit..took baylee with me. Did a good mile or so came home and stretched what a nice feeling...Made myself a good dinner, drank some cranberry juice and have called it a night after a relaxing shower that has taken the very last bit of energy out of me!!!

Overall it was a glorius day..they guys as usual joked around all day trying to annoy me...did some thinking and talking with the girls about my future plans and what not..but I'll leave that for another day.

Much love.

6wks 5 days

19 Feb 2009

So today I decided to start this blog....I would write like I love to but have decided that typing is way easier then writing and having my hand cramp up a million times.

So..the title states my propsed idea of how far along I am going soley off of what I believe was my last known mentrual period day. So, that very well could change in a few days.

So...everyone wants to know "how are you feeling"....well let me see I have come to the point where I don't get hungry all the time, when I do get hungry I get hungry FAST and then real quick after that I feel like I am going to vomit if I dont eat fast. But then when I go to eat I feel sick again. It's hard...I spent most of the evening on the couch after work today because I just didnt feel well. Last night I racked out at 9 and found myself wide awake at 1:50 in the morning and was up until 3:30. Yeah, not very fun. I have found this to be the regular these days...I almost need to force myself to go to bed late to sleep thru the night. Little bits of pains here in there in my abdomen...nothing serious. My boobs are HUGE and heavy and hurt most of the time. I can barely PT in the morning...I start my lap around the building and after the one lap feel sick to my stomach. The mornings I feel the roughest. Other than that I am not really running to the bathroom as much as I keep reading in the baby books. I am looking forward to my first appt on march 2nd. I will for sure see the baby and hear the heartbeat which is extremley exciting especially since I think the whole being a mom thing hasnt completley sunk in.

Aside from all of this I have a stiff neck from last night tossing and turning. I am cranky...and emotional quite often. Andrew is still in class right now and its pissing me off. Dont know why...sometimes I just feel like I need him and this stupid school keeps him from me. It scares me to think what the future brings. Well that is it for now I am going to jump in the shower and call it a night. ==that is until about 930 so maybe I can sleep thru the night...oh wait I will sleep thru the night. I have to wake up at 0400 because I am going to Ft. Stewart so I know that I will sleep until then....Hopefully. thats it for now.

gnight